Lately I have been torn about a lot of things, I have learnt a lot and grown a lot. I have learnt many tidbits of knowledge that I am eagerly trying to apply to my life without knowing where to start. Transitioning is never something that is easy. Finding gems despite rocky, dark and dreary surfaces can be very difficult but it is possible and if this is the only wisdom I gain from this season then so be it.
I am the type of person who thrives when everything is in its proper place. But at the same time….. When there isn’t a schedule, I go crazy. When there is too much of a schedule….. I fall apart. I am spontaneous and I am still not exactly sure where God wants me, but I’m sure that he is figuring that one out.
One of the things I have come to learn in one of the most difficult ways possible has been that God works in seasons. People are not meant to be around your entire lifetime, and likewise…. You will not be around for theirs. This is something we should embrace.
This is something I used to be very angry at God about. One of the placest that was very close to me, that kept me through a lot of difficult times, where people who had becoame my family suddenly weren’t there. I had done a lot of living in these places… my heart was part of these people and they knew a lot about me and I was empty. But I forgot how the JOY that I had experienced in these places to…. It wasn’t simply ‘just goodbyes’
We can choose to look at goodbyes as the most horrible experience of our lives, or we can look at it as something greater. The amount we pour out to others, and choose to risk… is the amount we will receive it back. We can look at these moments and say ‘I don’t regret this friendship/season of my life spent here because I know I did a lot of growing…. And I would not take that ‘growing’ back for anything.
I constantly saw these friendships that were gone in my life as ‘disappointments.’ Now that I am older I see the exact opposite was true. I held people to a standard in my life that God should have been fulfilling in my friendships; I expected them to care just about me as I did about them. The fact that everyone doesn’t pour into you nearly as much as you would does not make them terrible people. It just means maybe God has told them to pour into someone else, or that they have not yet found that never ending source of love that he gives. We need to think of our friendships more as ‘I did some growing here that changed me as a person, I needed that at that point in my life and I wouldn’t take that back…’
We have to also live however in the PRESENT. We need to not worry if these people that we grow very attached to will even be there 2+ years from now…. We need to not worry what people think of our friendships and love the way God loved other people. We need to also unleash our bitterness and forgive, let go of the resentment…. For that in itself can be half the battle. People are people, and in the end this life is about growing closer in relationship to your heavenly creator and making gods name known….. it is not about anything earthly…. None of that matters to him….
Transitioning into becoming a fulltime missionary is not easy. Thinking of every person you meet and worrying about never seeing a person again, its about risk. Whether your in missions or not you will get what you pour out. This is especially important in relationships & friendships…. Personally, I don’t think we should ask for what we are not willing to offer. If you want better friendships in your life and more people who read the bible… then start doing the same!
The purpose of the body of Christ is to strengthen, and encourage. The body of Christ is also supposed to work together! God didn’t create carbon copies; he created authentic human beings… that means we are all different. We work together to create a dynamic community that is beautiful, restored, and VIBRANT!
Hebrews 12:28
-Chelsea
