it's faces like these, faces of people i have met through ministry, through my everyday life, and even my own family that make me realize why i do what i do.
“My biggest fear, even now, is that I will hear Jesus' words and walk away, content to settle for less than radical obedience to Him. ”
― David Platt
If most of us were being truely honest with ourselves... We would be able to say that far to easily we walk away content with our own lives and that we have left God alone in the corner. Right now, I am reading a book by author & pastor David Platt called 'Radical: Taking Back Your Faith From The American Dream'
Many of you have probably heard of this book, but as a missionary struggling with financial support, trying to know God deeper and trust him to take on every area of my life..... it's all too scarily relevant.
This message should be something I already know & consistently do.... But it's not. I should be glad to serve him 'wherever/whenever' but more often than I would like to admit... I'm not always glad that I live in Hawaii. Most days if I were to be honest... I would say that I hate this season of training and how God is leading me to his heart. My flesh screams out 'God I want to be doing something PRODUCTIVE for you!' 'I am BORED'
I'm reminded of something a woman who was speaking to our group about a month ago taught us. She said simply "People were suckers for religion. The people cried out 'God we want to work for you! Show us what to do, give us rules! WE WANT TO WORK FOR YOU!' and Jesus kept responding back to them 'but I just want to talk to you. I just want to be your FRIEND!'"
There are days when I am so utterly frustrated. I'm frustrated because no matter how hard I try or what I do..... I CAN'T express how much Jesus means to me. Let me clarify that I DO love Jesus; but when it comes to expressing that.. I can't. A mindset creeps in and so easily says ''being a missionary IS my job, and I can't even do that...''
Far too often we 'adapt' the bible to suit our hearts and desires and needs... we don't recognize it as the living, breathing word of God. We see that our old mindsets have not shifted much, so much that we don't recognize that Jesus meant what he said. "The MOST important commandment is this... love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and soul; and love your neighbour as yourself."
How easily we forget that it is not about us.
God does not love me more because I can sing, or because I'm a missionary; and he never will. God's heart is for who I am when nobody is around me, and he has never been far off.
I often forget (just like you do) that it's not about me. I forget that Jesus has always cared whether at my darkest or my biggest 'glory moment.' Our identity as believers is found in him, and not our moments of failure.
The more we realize how big God is, the less it will take to get 'free-d.' Because then and only then will we realize that God has always cared, and we have always been free. His love has always been there & it has always been enough..
I have learnt to love this place and accept God's timing of everything. I have learned to laugh, cry, and *attempt to* rest. I have learnt to have compassion for others.
But at the same time, I have yet to get anywhere... and I am ok with that.
I will always be a work in progress.
But most importantly above everything else. I live for him because he is worth it & not because I feel like it. He is constant. I live for him because I want to make him known. I share who he is, because he is the good news: but like i said earlier-sometimes I get frustrated when I think of how to share who Jesus is to me. So bear with me :)
With Gratitude,
-Chelsea
sorry I have neglected this blog the past few weeks! I appreciate you all very much and am excited to see all of you back home these next upcoming weeks! :)
PS: The top photo is of a little Marshallese girl I work with during community outreach! I love her to bits & I am so excited to get to know her more!! =]
