Sunday, February 12, 2012

the desires of your heart?

this tuesday it will have been one month of me being home. WHERE has this time gone!?

For me personally i have wanted to take the time to blog and write to share how ive been feeling, but i just haven't been ready till now. mostly i've been mildy afraid of accidentally 'venting out my guts' and one thing i have begun to largely comprehend is that the area that God has given me a heart for (human trafficking) is not something that everyone understands. one of the things i have struggled with the most with God since ive been back [besides getting over the fact and used to that i was actually in thailand, god actually DID provide for me in crazy ways, and the way that i have grown....] is the whole concept of God knowing our strengths and weaknesses, or better yet God knowing us better than we know ourselves. Let me put it in the simplest, yet most complicated terms. God knows the desires of our heart?



That verse that we always seem to hear in church since we're in church or in those trying difficult situations of 'that must be really hard... i will be praying for you! if you ever need to talk i am here!'
these verses ALWAYS seem to come up:
Psalms 37:4  "Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart."
and Jeremiah 29:11   "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."



Lately i have really started to think and prod and ponder at God and think "What ARE my desires?" As a christian, obviously my fist desire is for God but then what... As some of you may know, Right before my Discipleship Training School in Vegas, i gave up my photography 'business' that i had been doing for the past 5 years. During my school God had convicted me to give away my SLR camera to one of my fellow DTS students, after much debating i did. I was also quite involved in dance for a big part of my life, and then i had to stop. That season was a very difficult one, which is weird how God brought it up. Someone on my DTS was also extremely involved in dance and loved it.... and one of my other DTS friends was in dance for a very long time (almost the same length as me and danced competitively) and also had to stop. but im sharing this to say right now my mind is kind of a mess.





I do believe that the talents God gives us are for HIS glory, but they are also for us too and something we can find refuge in. Photography and dance have been those for me, I'm still trying to break down that wall and make singing/worship one of those too. But part of me has thought 'maybe God gives us those talents for JUST certain seasons of our lives?' Do they have expiry dates and then God with all his majesty throws something new in the bucket for us to play with? Or are our talents here one day, gone for an extended period of time and then God decides to make them pop up again.  Are we meant to be jack of all trades or excel and be passionate at one thing?


During my Discipleship Training School, each week we would have a different speaker come in to talk about something else. One speaker talked about the importance of taking silence and solitude [on top of a bunch of other things...] If we are not taking time to be refreshed and let God fill us up/give us new insights everyday, we are gonna get burnt out really quickly on the mission field. Sometimes our 'quiet times' dont have to be quiet, they can be loud with worship music blaring and us just talking to Jesus.

This brings up my question, what if you do not know your 'hobby' 'gift & talent' call it what you will? I believe that sometimes more so than others our talents is what we can use to reach out to people FAR MORE than any other long cup of coffee, etc. I once heard a quote that said "art is just a different facet of who God is"

i read the other day on a photographers blog that said "Life get’s busy and unless we make the effort to take the time to do this, we can lose sight of how we want to live our life.  With intention"
I am not sure or not if she is a Christian Photographer or not but that is irrelevant, that quote can apply to ANYTHING. Ministry, not taking time for ourselves, not taking time for GOD, etc.

My personal belief is that you should incorporate your hobbies/talents, weird fun or quirky, into your DAILY lives. Not just because you like them, and they bring your joy and they are fun.... but because that is a way you can show the love of Christ, by the way you act. In a culture where everyone is so artistically diverse... Of course it matters! You can relate to them on some source or matter in what they are interested in! I am sure there is alot more types of art out there than just taking photos and playing music.....

As for me, I am frustrated at the moment with figuring what AM i good at?
but i know God will tell me in his timing if im supposed to pursue something new-or if those hobbies are still active or if they were just for seasons. who know? Goes does. =]



-Chelsea, Psalm 82:3-4
(the following pics above were taken in Thailand, borrowing the camera i gave to my friend during DTS. Please do not take without asking! Even though i do not do photography anymore i would still like the credit)




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