One of my favorite songs lately have been 'lover of your presence' by Bryan and Katie Torwalt. It's one of those songs that can make you burst at the seams because even though how matter upset I may be at whatever circumstance, I realize that God's presence in itself is enough.... no matter how angry I may be at my present circumstances giving up everything for missions IS what i want and more importantly.... it is what GOD has asked of me.
In the last few months since being home I have had many half ideas in my head. My blog section labeled 'DRAFTS' is full of 3 sentences or more or less of these ideas that I have tried to flesh out and make try to come reality but it never manages to work.... ideas and things God has spoken to me that I've wanted and need to get off of my chest-but it just haven't worked. (which is also why I haven't written alot lately, believe me I have tried)
But... if it ends up fatally or good, i am going to try anyway :) isn't that what writing is anyway?
One of the things God has convicted me on strongly since i've been home has been worship, and i have hated it. One of the stories I really like in the bible is the particular one where David and his army ask God 'what do i do!?!?!?' and he asks the whole village, including the women and children...... even though they are clearly outnumbered to just sit there and offer their very best to God and to WORSHIP him.
The army then gets so confused by all the worship that is happening and the joy in front of them, and God confuses the army. The army actually starts killing eachother. David was willing to trust and surrender everything to God... and the end result WAS worth it.
The greek word for worship in this story is 'tehillah'.... it means laudation.
{more about the word tehillah in these two links here (7 hebrew words for praise) and here (tehillah-what is it!?)
It goes to show us that God does something when we worship. He cares about how we worship, and we wants to move powerfully through NOT just through 'amazing corporate worship' [although he can and he does.....] That is not the only way that God moves. God also moves in individual worship.
Jesus fasted for 40 days, Jesus spent 40 days alone with God... Now even though it doesnt say anywhere in that portion of scripture that Jesus specifically ' cant be found anywhere in that chunk of scripture. BUT I'd like to think that if Jesus was in the wilderness for 40 days-some of that was probably spent praising & worshiping God (no matter what it looked like.)
Luke 4:1-2 says that at the beginning of his fast Jesus was led by the Spirit....
at the end of his fast. (Luke 4:14) is says that Jesus was FILLED with the Spirit. Worship and our praises CAN do something in our individual lives and it is definitely reassuring for me to know that even Jesus himself claimed some of God's promises in his own life.....
During my DTS i struggled with worship alot. Singing in front of people has always been something i have hated (to read more about my journey with worship during my DTS click on this link)
Coming back home was probably the most difficult ever. IEven though I had overcome alot of my fears during DTS, I thought that after the way i had grown in my worship through DTS... i would be great to do anything and that nothing could hold me back. I quickly changed my mind the first Sunday I was back. Worship at my church was something I really enjoyed... but i felt so empty inside and distant from everybody that I did not care. Worship was the last thing I was excited about..
I began to realize and remember something that was shared with us during our DTS.... "Your life will not get changed through a simple prayer time, your life will get changed by constantly renewing your mind and spending time with God" I thought i didn't care what people thought and that was true during DTS..... but when i came back home it was a whole different story. It was something that i had to work on, we're never actually worshipping if we're not engaging with God.
For awhile it would just be me 'praying' during worship and pretending like I was actively participating (much like during the beginning parts of DTS) and then my mindset shifted... As i began to pray for simple things and not just myself but a variety of things.... God began to change me. I came to a weird conclusion. 'Our Worship should be the fruit of what God has done in our life' (try reading and letting that soak in 5 times.... it definitely convicted me, and i think that it should)
Worship is not something God gave us to exasperate us, and make us look stupid in front of everybody else.... We should feel free to worship him in whatever way that makes us feel free. Whether that's through singing or not. Whether that is trough painting something that inspires you and thanking God what your thankful for.....worship means to simply praise. And maybe your not a singer, and that's fine with God.... He loves to listen to us no matter what we sound like, no matter how much we mope and whine because 'our life isn't going right'
As long as we're LETTING him move in our lives.... then i think that's ok. Because his ways aren't our ways, and he understood that from day one.... it's normally us who have had the problem and have often tried 'convincing God' Worship shouldn't ever look the same... Worship shouldn't ever be 'just singing' and that's it. It should be how we live and in our everyday lives.
just some food for thought.
-Chelsea
In the last few months since being home I have had many half ideas in my head. My blog section labeled 'DRAFTS' is full of 3 sentences or more or less of these ideas that I have tried to flesh out and make try to come reality but it never manages to work.... ideas and things God has spoken to me that I've wanted and need to get off of my chest-but it just haven't worked. (which is also why I haven't written alot lately, believe me I have tried)
But... if it ends up fatally or good, i am going to try anyway :) isn't that what writing is anyway?
One of the things God has convicted me on strongly since i've been home has been worship, and i have hated it. One of the stories I really like in the bible is the particular one where David and his army ask God 'what do i do!?!?!?' and he asks the whole village, including the women and children...... even though they are clearly outnumbered to just sit there and offer their very best to God and to WORSHIP him.
The army then gets so confused by all the worship that is happening and the joy in front of them, and God confuses the army. The army actually starts killing eachother. David was willing to trust and surrender everything to God... and the end result WAS worth it.
The greek word for worship in this story is 'tehillah'.... it means laudation.
{more about the word tehillah in these two links here (7 hebrew words for praise) and here (tehillah-what is it!?)
It goes to show us that God does something when we worship. He cares about how we worship, and we wants to move powerfully through NOT just through 'amazing corporate worship' [although he can and he does.....] That is not the only way that God moves. God also moves in individual worship.
Jesus fasted for 40 days, Jesus spent 40 days alone with God... Now even though it doesnt say anywhere in that portion of scripture that Jesus specifically ' cant be found anywhere in that chunk of scripture. BUT I'd like to think that if Jesus was in the wilderness for 40 days-some of that was probably spent praising & worshiping God (no matter what it looked like.)
Luke 4:1-2 says that at the beginning of his fast Jesus was led by the Spirit....
at the end of his fast. (Luke 4:14) is says that Jesus was FILLED with the Spirit. Worship and our praises CAN do something in our individual lives and it is definitely reassuring for me to know that even Jesus himself claimed some of God's promises in his own life.....
During my DTS i struggled with worship alot. Singing in front of people has always been something i have hated (to read more about my journey with worship during my DTS click on this link)
Coming back home was probably the most difficult ever. IEven though I had overcome alot of my fears during DTS, I thought that after the way i had grown in my worship through DTS... i would be great to do anything and that nothing could hold me back. I quickly changed my mind the first Sunday I was back. Worship at my church was something I really enjoyed... but i felt so empty inside and distant from everybody that I did not care. Worship was the last thing I was excited about..
I began to realize and remember something that was shared with us during our DTS.... "Your life will not get changed through a simple prayer time, your life will get changed by constantly renewing your mind and spending time with God" I thought i didn't care what people thought and that was true during DTS..... but when i came back home it was a whole different story. It was something that i had to work on, we're never actually worshipping if we're not engaging with God.
For awhile it would just be me 'praying' during worship and pretending like I was actively participating (much like during the beginning parts of DTS) and then my mindset shifted... As i began to pray for simple things and not just myself but a variety of things.... God began to change me. I came to a weird conclusion. 'Our Worship should be the fruit of what God has done in our life' (try reading and letting that soak in 5 times.... it definitely convicted me, and i think that it should)
Worship is not something God gave us to exasperate us, and make us look stupid in front of everybody else.... We should feel free to worship him in whatever way that makes us feel free. Whether that's through singing or not. Whether that is trough painting something that inspires you and thanking God what your thankful for.....worship means to simply praise. And maybe your not a singer, and that's fine with God.... He loves to listen to us no matter what we sound like, no matter how much we mope and whine because 'our life isn't going right'
As long as we're LETTING him move in our lives.... then i think that's ok. Because his ways aren't our ways, and he understood that from day one.... it's normally us who have had the problem and have often tried 'convincing God' Worship shouldn't ever look the same... Worship shouldn't ever be 'just singing' and that's it. It should be how we live and in our everyday lives.
just some food for thought.
-Chelsea
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