for a long time i have ignored the question, 'what are you doing the next??' This, however.... what is happening right now, was completely unexpected. I mentioned before that i was EXCITED for the next step, whatever God was willing to do i was going to run into it.... i believe my words were similiar to "i trust god to provide even if it doesn't make snese" thosse words are totally coming to bite me in the bum now because i wasnt expecting it to happen this quickly...
The whole time i have known the answer to the question 'what are you doing next??' but i've been scared about the timing, will i even be accepted or not, am i even hearing from God right!? so.... i took a leap of faith and accepted after seeking spiritual leadership in my life. the whole time to be honest i felt like God was ripping my heart out when he was asking me to go and staff here, (EVEN when it was such a long time away) i had already missed so much, i felt like after i had grown so much from DTS and had so much to process... how would i ever be ready to do something like that by the end of this year??
i felt like because i had just finished my dts... because i had processed and gone through alot my dts i wouldnt know how to lead people (and satan was using that to his advantage ALOT). personally in my own dts experience, i didnt start actually growing/learning in my lecture phase until about week 8 of 16. I became so stuck on the 'this is way too soon, people are going to think im not serious' that i didnt think about the possibility of WAIT a second.... what if i am put with somebody who is having a hard time during their DTS that might need someone who's been their.... i forgot about stopping for the one which is what our Christian walk is all about.
The whole time people have asked me 'what's next?' i have known the answer.... The whole time i haven't been sure about it. It was exactly like Vegas... "WHAT... how is this going to happen? i dont understand?" fear flooding my mind, excpet i knew why i was going.
THIS. is completely different. I dont exactly know why i'm going, i dont know why God has asked me to go. but the things that have happened even the past few years of my life and how God has spoken verses to me, and spoken through people to me.... i thought they were all for Vegas. I thought Vegas was the 'defining moment' for all of it. THAT was the reason for all of it right? that God had found somehow a beautiful way out of my brokenness and pain to get glory out of it.... to help people who are currently suffering there.
Seeing Thailand and being in Vegas, learning for myself despite the hours and countless weeks of research i had already done on this topic was different. I never had a heart for human trafficking before God called me to Las Vegas and to do this school, Human Trafficking was just something i had heard of.. people i would pray for occasionally but i didnt really know about it. When God called me it was more of a matter of 'i want to know what im getting myself into' before doing the school.... i would not let myself be one of those people ignorant going into the situation.... But ive found and seen that no matter how much research you do and even if youve been there, even if you have suffered abuse.... you still end up being ignorant because you have never been there personally.
I'd begun to see that this topic is not black and white..... These people are people, and you never fully come to that conclusion (no matter how much you know that) until you are in a bar in Thailand having a drink (juice/pop) with one of these girls in Thailand and you get the amazing priveledge of becoming their friends.... (or whatever circumstance it may look like, whatever country) Ladyboy or not they are NOT 'people of unfortunate circumstances....' When i think of the redlight district now, i think of the FRIEND i met. YES! i absolutely still pray for her.... but i dont think of her as a victim. If we constantly define people by their circumstances constantly how will they ever get out? They are PEOPLE and these men and women are not defined by the things that happen to them. They are defined by their quirks, their personalities, their joy and their laughter-because that is how GOD sees them: as his children.
And now? i'm beginning to realize that alot of the things that God was telling me during my own lecture phase weren't for Thailand specifically.... they were for NOW.
God has put alot on my heart 'restoring desolate inheritances' and generations. I had believed those were words specifically about something totally different and close to my heart, but God showed me differently. When at first i didn't have a heart AT ALL to do what he had called me.... i began to. Because i realized 'restoring desolate inheritance' means a life changed by Christ. Families brought together again. It doesn't matter WHERE it happens or who it happens to... it is a celebration when God calls someone who has been struggling to walk in their full identities as sons and daughters. They are no longer 'desolate' as the world says but they are 'LOVED' and they know it.
SO WHAT EXACTLY AM I DOING!?!?
After much prayer and seeking God, asking my spiritualleaders for guidance.. I have submitted my staff application for YWAM Kona, the University of the Nations base. This is the base where the founders of YWAM live and the burning pot for all that YWAM does.
I will be staffing a DTS called 'awaken' which goal is to ignite young people, and But largely focused on community. they do not go to more than two locations during their outreaches and they want to bless their communities.. My goal was originally not to be leaving until much later this year and staffing next year's DTS... But 'when we are down to NOTHING, God is up to something!!'
Re-entry has been very difficult and i realized ive been trying to make myself grow at a rapid rate still.... the same way i was on DTS. And ive realized its not possible. it's impossible and weird to think ive been home for two months, Two Weeks. Can i even do this? and after much seeking him, fasting from facebook.... tand Gods answer has been 'GO'
So..... with alot of fear, faith, and trust in my heavenly father who provided for me on my DTS.... Within the next two weeks-month i will be packing up my bags and leaving for Kona for possibly a year to staff this DTS. I do not know any of the details of where the outreach for the school will be etc.
All i know is that once i get there i will taking a 3 month leadership track. And then staffing the DTS for 6 months and the students will be arriving. Its weird to think this time a year ago i was preparing/freaking out for my own DTS.... My God does CRAZY things!
Genesis 28:15 (b)
" for I will not leave you until I have done what I have [a]promised you.”
and...
Matthew 6:33
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
verses i am claiming and living by this season.
Please pray for finances and God's provision during these next few weeks. Stepping into Gods hand as i walk into the unkown, favour for a visa and for FAITH! I dont know when i will be going, it may be sooner than later... but please
If you would like to monthly support me in this journey i will be taking, please email me as soon as possible. As always i highly appreciate your prayers during this time. I will be completely relying on God for the finances as currently, financially i only have the finances for a plane ticket to get there....
since i am now an official STAFF for ywam, all donations that you give will be tax deductible.
My financial needs are traveller insurance, my medication, and rent/food. as of right now i do not have monthly supporters.
my email is 'buettnerchelsea@gmail.com'
Peace & LOVE
-Chelsea
The whole time i have known the answer to the question 'what are you doing next??' but i've been scared about the timing, will i even be accepted or not, am i even hearing from God right!? so.... i took a leap of faith and accepted after seeking spiritual leadership in my life. the whole time to be honest i felt like God was ripping my heart out when he was asking me to go and staff here, (EVEN when it was such a long time away) i had already missed so much, i felt like after i had grown so much from DTS and had so much to process... how would i ever be ready to do something like that by the end of this year??
i felt like because i had just finished my dts... because i had processed and gone through alot my dts i wouldnt know how to lead people (and satan was using that to his advantage ALOT). personally in my own dts experience, i didnt start actually growing/learning in my lecture phase until about week 8 of 16. I became so stuck on the 'this is way too soon, people are going to think im not serious' that i didnt think about the possibility of WAIT a second.... what if i am put with somebody who is having a hard time during their DTS that might need someone who's been their.... i forgot about stopping for the one which is what our Christian walk is all about.
The whole time people have asked me 'what's next?' i have known the answer.... The whole time i haven't been sure about it. It was exactly like Vegas... "WHAT... how is this going to happen? i dont understand?" fear flooding my mind, excpet i knew why i was going.
THIS. is completely different. I dont exactly know why i'm going, i dont know why God has asked me to go. but the things that have happened even the past few years of my life and how God has spoken verses to me, and spoken through people to me.... i thought they were all for Vegas. I thought Vegas was the 'defining moment' for all of it. THAT was the reason for all of it right? that God had found somehow a beautiful way out of my brokenness and pain to get glory out of it.... to help people who are currently suffering there.
Seeing Thailand and being in Vegas, learning for myself despite the hours and countless weeks of research i had already done on this topic was different. I never had a heart for human trafficking before God called me to Las Vegas and to do this school, Human Trafficking was just something i had heard of.. people i would pray for occasionally but i didnt really know about it. When God called me it was more of a matter of 'i want to know what im getting myself into' before doing the school.... i would not let myself be one of those people ignorant going into the situation.... But ive found and seen that no matter how much research you do and even if youve been there, even if you have suffered abuse.... you still end up being ignorant because you have never been there personally.
I'd begun to see that this topic is not black and white..... These people are people, and you never fully come to that conclusion (no matter how much you know that) until you are in a bar in Thailand having a drink (juice/pop) with one of these girls in Thailand and you get the amazing priveledge of becoming their friends.... (or whatever circumstance it may look like, whatever country) Ladyboy or not they are NOT 'people of unfortunate circumstances....' When i think of the redlight district now, i think of the FRIEND i met. YES! i absolutely still pray for her.... but i dont think of her as a victim. If we constantly define people by their circumstances constantly how will they ever get out? They are PEOPLE and these men and women are not defined by the things that happen to them. They are defined by their quirks, their personalities, their joy and their laughter-because that is how GOD sees them: as his children.
And now? i'm beginning to realize that alot of the things that God was telling me during my own lecture phase weren't for Thailand specifically.... they were for NOW.
God has put alot on my heart 'restoring desolate inheritances' and generations. I had believed those were words specifically about something totally different and close to my heart, but God showed me differently. When at first i didn't have a heart AT ALL to do what he had called me.... i began to. Because i realized 'restoring desolate inheritance' means a life changed by Christ. Families brought together again. It doesn't matter WHERE it happens or who it happens to... it is a celebration when God calls someone who has been struggling to walk in their full identities as sons and daughters. They are no longer 'desolate' as the world says but they are 'LOVED' and they know it.
SO WHAT EXACTLY AM I DOING!?!?
After much prayer and seeking God, asking my spiritualleaders for guidance.. I have submitted my staff application for YWAM Kona, the University of the Nations base. This is the base where the founders of YWAM live and the burning pot for all that YWAM does.
I will be staffing a DTS called 'awaken' which goal is to ignite young people, and But largely focused on community. they do not go to more than two locations during their outreaches and they want to bless their communities.. My goal was originally not to be leaving until much later this year and staffing next year's DTS... But 'when we are down to NOTHING, God is up to something!!'
Re-entry has been very difficult and i realized ive been trying to make myself grow at a rapid rate still.... the same way i was on DTS. And ive realized its not possible. it's impossible and weird to think ive been home for two months, Two Weeks. Can i even do this? and after much seeking him, fasting from facebook.... tand Gods answer has been 'GO'
So..... with alot of fear, faith, and trust in my heavenly father who provided for me on my DTS.... Within the next two weeks-month i will be packing up my bags and leaving for Kona for possibly a year to staff this DTS. I do not know any of the details of where the outreach for the school will be etc.
All i know is that once i get there i will taking a 3 month leadership track. And then staffing the DTS for 6 months and the students will be arriving. Its weird to think this time a year ago i was preparing/freaking out for my own DTS.... My God does CRAZY things!
Genesis 28:15 (b)
" for I will not leave you until I have done what I have [a]promised you.”
and...
Matthew 6:33
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
verses i am claiming and living by this season.
Please pray for finances and God's provision during these next few weeks. Stepping into Gods hand as i walk into the unkown, favour for a visa and for FAITH! I dont know when i will be going, it may be sooner than later... but please
If you would like to monthly support me in this journey i will be taking, please email me as soon as possible. As always i highly appreciate your prayers during this time. I will be completely relying on God for the finances as currently, financially i only have the finances for a plane ticket to get there....
since i am now an official STAFF for ywam, all donations that you give will be tax deductible.
My financial needs are traveller insurance, my medication, and rent/food. as of right now i do not have monthly supporters.
my email is 'buettnerchelsea@gmail.com'
Peace & LOVE
-Chelsea
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